A friend of mine who works for a surgical provider group owned by some corporation in a different time zone, told me this…

Rush!  Rush!  Before April 1, a week and a half, they have to shut down their sub-specialty surgical operation completely for a day for a training seminar MANDATED for all employees (including surgeons.)  Clinics are all to be cancelled – all personnel on deck, even if they’re not scheduled to work that day.  Elective surgeries will be rescheduled.  Emergency surgeries will be turfed to outside practitioners.  ALL calls will be routed to another surgical clinic that day.  NO EXCUSES!

The division is in CRISIS MODE to finish this training before the end of March.  All the other clinics in the rest of the country have done this module already – except for this clinic.  The training will take place as an e-Module video, but it has to be watched in a group setting with paper quizzes, not one of those easy-peasy on-line trainings.  And it takes about six hours.  No pass, and you can’t deal with patients until you take the make-up training, you dum-dum.

What is this Emergency Training?  Is it something important like ICD-10, or some CMS regulation, or something like that?  No, it’s not a Federally Mandated thing, but a corporation mandate from Up Top.  What’s it called?

Attention to Customer Service – Our Patients Are Our Customers

I can just hear it…”No, we’re going to postpone the biopsy of that mass, Mrs. Customer.  Why?  Customer Service, that’s why! Oy!

This is not an April Fool’s Joke.

PS Update:

Sadly, this whole plan might be the misfire of a prank – or not.  But the real answer is as mysterious as ever.  The decision is being rapidly rewound – of course, the inflexible doctors threatened to riot over this idiocy.

In the classic Corporate model of responding to a mess by blowing ink like a squid, this idiocy was apparently:

  1. A real decision that they’re trying to pass off as an “April Fool’s” joke gone awry.
  2. An April Fools joke that was taken seriously by the empty suits in Corporate, as no stupid idea is bad enough for them to mandate harshly.

Now it comes across as even sadder than the original proposal.  Either way, it shows that the Empty Suits can’t tell an absurd idiocy from real management.