Please read Norm Feuti’s comic, RETAIL.  He and Scott Thompson of DILBERT know what we know about caring for the public.  And unlike us, those poor employees don’t get to wear gloves.

Don’t know if you folks have found out about September, the 19th being “International Talk Like A Pirate Day.”  I try to remind the office staff a few days beforehand, that, when patients aren’t around, it’s fitting to talk like a pirate in the clinics in offices.  ‘Arr, ya matie!”  Our organization has taken no notice of it, as it threatens incursion of individual religious concepts, I suppose.

It is nearly a hundred years ago when the Horwitz brothers teamed up with Larry Feinberg, under the ill-fated Ted Healy, to create The Three Stooges.  Their personal lives were very involved and substantial.  Moe Howard was, unlike his screen personality, famous for his gentleness and kindness towards everyone he met.

KunckSo, inspired by ITLAP (international talk like a pirate day,)  I suggest PTSDPhysicians Talk like Stooges Day, every February 13th of each year.  We are trapped into the Language of The Anchor Chain – not the nautical chain going down into the ocean, but the Anchor Chain of the suburban mall – Trendy’s and some such named retail establishment.  When patients come in behaving at their worst – not out of stress, but rather out of the clu-oxiousness of the retail store patron – we should have a special day for physicians – and all care-giving health providers – to offer them advice as Drs. Howard, Fine and Howard might.

How often does someone come in to the office, and say “Hey, doc, it hurts when I do this?”  And usually, one offers them a kind and wise set of instructions to rest the offended articulation or organ for a while.  It’s not so bad when the patient is grateful.  When they are sulky, and claim you have done nothing for them, it is tempting to call them ‘knuckleheads.’


Scolding of imprudent behavior, especially by Moe, was one of the most delighting aspects of the Stooges. He tended to criticize character far more than behavior. When a patient comes in and has done a foolish thing, usually we are sympathetic. However, when they act is an arrogant, condescending or peremptory manner, as though they are dealing with their inferiors, it is tempting to call them a ‘maroon.’
So, how about it? PTSD – PHYSICIANS TALK LIKE STOOGES DAY, every 13th of February? Next year, it’s a Monday. Or start today, why don’t ya? Soitenly!