Sometimes in this job you have to tell a patient that they will not survive an illness.

It is hard to do, and takes a lot of self-honesty to propose this.  Many physicians will avoid it, and treat the dying patient up until the last with treatments that neither improve their disease nor ease their life.

I have greatly enjoyed my career as a doctor.  It may be time to let it pass.

It is no longer viable, no matter what I might wish.

I have begun to strike the MD off my resume, and send some targeted applications to other types of jobs.  It’s not about the money – it never was.  I’ve been a doctor for thousands of dollars a week, and less than a thousand dollars a month.  That’s not a big factor for me.

I have begun this Memorial Day weekend to come to terms with the passage of this period of my life.  People go through many changes in their life; divorces, deaths, fleeing their homeland from hostile dictatorships.  In this light, letting a profession pass is merely wistful.

I will never wear whites again.  No matter what happens; they are now a sign of identity.  I do not believe in the identity any more.  I do not feel like a doctor, although I will keep the license.  I feel more like an electrician than a doctor.

Nor will I wear a stethoscope.  That is a badge too.  Nor go by Doctor, except where patient care is concerned.  Sie sagten einmal, Kauf’ nicht bei Juden.

And then they were quiet for a while..

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